Technology has brought us so much over the years: phones, cars, computers, the Internet, and the list goes on. One thing that is common to almost all of these inventions is the fact that they can be as good as they can be harmful. For instance, the Internet has brought us the creation of social media platforms. Nowadays, we can connect with our friends and families all around the world, share our work with potential employers and meet people that we would’ve never met in other circumstances because of our location. However, it also brought Internet piracy, spam and online bullying. Tinder, an online dating app, does not escape this reality. It has its good, its bad and its ugly. In this essay, I will reflect on my experience on Tinder and what I have learned from my interactions with the people on this app.
In September 2012, Sean Rad, Jonathan Badeen, Justin Mateen, Joe Munoz, Dinesh Moorjani, and Whitney Wolfe launched the app Tinder. Its main purpose is to allow its users to swipe, match, and message other single users in their area. This particular social platform gained a lot of popularity on college campuses and eventually developed into the phenomenon that we know today. Contrary to other dating sites that create matches with other users based on similar interests and hobbies, Tinder plays on first impressions that are short and mostly based on people’s physical appearance. The way it works is simple: if you swipe left, you’re not interested, and if you swipe right, it means you are. If two users swipe right on each other, they have a “match,” and they can message each other. From there, it is up to you to chat with the person and set up a date or unmatched if you change your mind about him or her. While the app started on iOS and later developed for Android, there is now also our web version that is available for the users.
Secondly, now that we have established what Tinder is and its purpose, it is time to reflect on a few questions that regard the app and its impact on society. One question that seems to pertain to this particular platform is what visions of society does it put forward? It is important to note here that I am not speaking on behalf of a whole generation; I can only speak from my experience on the app and what other users have shared with me about their experience as well. From a relatively young perspective, I have gathered that many users of the app are aware that it seems to put forward a society that is quite superficial and a bit immature. We based our decisions on a few words and emojis at the bottom of a picture that clearly shows off all of our good assets. It is hard to disagree that most users don’t make the decision to swipe right or left based on a deep intellectual connection that they have with the other users. However, a few men that I have encountered on the social platform expressed the idea that for them it promotes a society that is more open to relationships that are not traditional and promotes a culture that is more open-minded and adventurous when it comes to relationships or intimate relations. Moreover, there is a central idea that ignites from Tinder and that most people would agree that it “is presented as being for those interested in relationships between two people, referencing a particular view of monogamous intimate relations” (Light et al., 2018, p. 11) whatever that relationship may be. There is the occasional threesome suggestion that may occur, but most inquiries on the app are for intimate relations between two people.
Furthermore, Tinder and its new culture often have society question itself about what kinds of interaction and socialization does it encourage? Once again, there is no right or wrong in this situation, only a multiple facets answer. On the one hand, there is the inevitable one-night stand interaction. It is not uncommon to match with someone on the app, and the first thing they will ask you before even saying hello is, “do you want to have sex tonight”. While it might seem a bit upfront for a greeting, this is the reason why a lot of people are on Tinder and would rather be upfront about their intentions than wasting everyone’s time, which seems reasonable to a certain extent. On the purpose-fulfilment side, Tinder encourages people to engage in a long-term relationship that has a great ending. It might not be as often talked as the app intended, but it does happen, and it makes great wedding vows such as “it was love at first swipe”. Moreover, on the more unconventional and less talked about side, Tinder encourages people who are more on the introverted and shy team to be able to socialize with people romantically. It does promote a particular socialization that was not possible when technology was not as advanced as today. After conducting a little experiment of my own, depending on the time of the days, some people use the app as a means of communication to flirt or talk to someone when they are bored at work or in class. It can be useful for someone who is, for instance, very shy and would like to come out of their shell and actually meet strangers. Even if you talk to them online, that could be a step forward to socialization. As Parks (2011) mentioned in its work, “being connected to others fosters a sense of purpose, belonging, and attachment that is central to the concept of community” (p. 114). In that sense, whether you seek the sense of connection through a more communal platform like Facebook or Instagram, or on more intimate places like Tinder and Hinge, you create connections with people who make up a community.
In conclusion, dating in the 21st century can be quite an experience. The access to technology that we have today has opened so many doors for us to experiences that were not even imaginable 50 years ago. As Tinder made its place in society, it created a new wave of dating that allowed people to engage in casual relationships with people in their area or also long-term relationships without even having to step out of the comfort of their house. Not only that it created a community for people who were seeking that kind of human interaction, but it also created a space for introverted people who have the same needs as everyone else but might be a bit too shy to flirt with people face-to-face from the get-go. In addition, it gives the freedom to everyone to interact with people who have the same intentions, rather than going to a bar, for example, and have unsolicited contact with certain individuals. During my time on the app, I discovered that some people seek more than a relationship but just a way to communicate with people unconventionally. After all, we are all social creatures, does it matter in 2020 how we seek the fulfilment of this need?
References
Light, B., Burgess, J., & Duguay, S. (2018). The walkthrough method: An approach to the study of apps. New Media & Society, 20(3), 881–900. https://doi.org/10.1177/1461444816675438
Parks, M. (2011). Social network sites as virtual communities. In Z. Papacharissi (Ed.), A networked self: Identity, community, and culture on social network sites (pp. 39-58). New York, NY: Routledge.
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